My girlfriend’s rat dog doesn’t let me poop in peace
once i went to the movie theater with my friend who wears hijab and while we were sitting down she turned to me and said “people always ask me what i have under here. let me show you” and proceeded to whip out two dorito bags, three hostess cakes, and a pack of gummy worms
My mom is so mean to me
Expectations Vs. Reality / Game of thrones
why do jellyfish only sting when theres physical contact
why doesnt the electricity just surge throughout the entire ocean
why dont jellyfish rule the world
Fun fact! Jellyfish don’t use electricity to sting you. Whenever they feel pressure against their tentacles, it causes its cells to rapidly send out these stingers into your skin that then release its venom. Like this:
Check it out HERE
lol I changed what gay autocorrects to in my friends phone so he’ll stop using it as a derogatory term.
so i texted him pretending i was coming out of the closet and this is fantastic
honestly sometimes in school people say the most ridiculous shit and I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I’m on The Office
My school has security cameras in every classroom and I’ve done this at least 3 times each class this entire year. Today the security guard came up to me and told me I was his hero.
You know sweatpants?
In Australia we call them trakky-dacks.
im starting to think you aussies are just fucking with us
we actually aren’t and that’s the horrendous part.